well, it seems that the remote wire wasn't getting any power, I tore the deck out and there were 3 diff blue wires plus the illum. wire. I tried all 3 blues and nothing, so I used a jumper wire on the amp and it worked (thank god). so I pulled back the remote wire and put it on the amp's power feed and it worked, so the wire is good..but no power to the amp from the deck. So I think I'll just hook up the remote wire to my cig lighter for power.
On second thought, I don't remember seeing a ground wire on the deck or deck chassis. Would that cause the deck's remote power feed to not work?