Well, it turns out I've had my head up my *** on this issue.
For some reason I never realized that since I got the bracket and adapter to put the slim drive in the tower, I need an IDE to USB adapter. The mounting bracket came with the slim-to-IDE adapter. DUH!!!!!
IDE to USB 2.0 is approx $20 on eBay. If you've got one for $10 or $15 (depending on how we go about the exchange), I'll take it.