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Idiots throughout your day! (Humor)

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  • Idiots throughout your day! (Humor)

    IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
    This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

    IDIOTS AT WORK:
    I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

    IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've recently been with some of these people...

    IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

    IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

    IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
    Post # 3000

  • #2
    Older than dirt, but still funny.
    Don't Click

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    • #3
      My Mazda 3s

      My Mazda 3s on Car Domain

      [||||||||||||||||||--] (90%)

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      • #4
        haha (semi-sarcastic)
        92 Taurus SHO - Daily driver - Epia M10000 80GB 512mb 7" touchscreen, Opus PSU etc

        93 Black SHO - 30mpg cruiser

        90 Silver SHO - 419whp fun/project car, CarPC to come (for tuning)

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Gutter
          Older than dirt, but still funny.
          Co-Developer of A.I.M.E.E
          www.aimee.cc

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by rafaelsherman
            IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
            This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
            I can . I got cable internet in 99 and since then it has been down three times, once when I swapped a router and the line must have drifted in impedance and they had to swap the filter to get the signal back down to the right level. Second time their infosec turned me off, they decided my honeypot was in violation of their TOS. Third time we had a major storm, cars were floating down the street and the transformer on the pole in my backyard blew up about 10 minutes after the internet went down.

            My phone service, I quit calling the phone company because I got tired of it being broken once a month. and they wonder why I laugh when they call me up and want me to switch to their DSL

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by eugenen
              I can . I got cable internet in 99 and since then it has been down three times, once when I swapped a router and the line must have drifted in impedance and they had to swap the filter to get the signal back down to the right level. Second time their infosec turned me off, they decided my honeypot was in violation of their TOS. Third time we had a major storm, cars were floating down the street and the transformer on the pole in my backyard blew up about 10 minutes after the internet went down.

              My phone service, I quit calling the phone company because I got tired of it being broken once a month. and they wonder why I laugh when they call me up and want me to switch to their DSL

              LOL, yeah, I used to have DSL. IT REALLY SUCKS. Plus, it's soooo much more expensive and slower than cable!

              Pacific Bell DSL - 384K Down/128K Up - $39.95/month

              Cox High Speed Internet - 3000K Down/256K Up - $30/month (With Cox Combo [Phone, Digi Cable, Internet, Buy the modem instead of renting it])
              Post # 3000

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              • #8
                Originally posted by rafaelsherman
                LOL, yeah, I used to have DSL. IT REALLY SUCKS. Plus, it's soooo much more expensive and slower than cable!

                Pacific Bell DSL - 384K Down/128K Up - $39.95/month

                Cox High Speed Internet - 3000K Down/256K Up - $30/month (With Cox Combo [Phone, Digi Cable, Internet, Buy the modem instead of renting it])
                wow, is it really 3000 down? dsl here is pretty expensive about $69.95 a month for 512/256
                92 Taurus SHO - Daily driver - Epia M10000 80GB 512mb 7" touchscreen, Opus PSU etc

                93 Black SHO - 30mpg cruiser

                90 Silver SHO - 419whp fun/project car, CarPC to come (for tuning)

                Comment


                • #9
                  1.5/256k dsl here 44.95 a month
                  cable is same but has major slowdowns in my area
                  [H]4 Life
                  My next generation Front End is right on schedule.
                  It will be done sometime in the next generation.
                  I'm a lesbian too.
                  I am for hire!

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                  • #10
                    went to switch to cable from DSL today so we can save $50 by not having a landline phone. in passing, i asked what would happen to our digital cable boxes since they are plugged into the phone line. they said that the cable boxes would be turned off eventually because they wouldnt respond to a "poll" from the office.

                    my question is this, if they can turn off my cable boxes over the cable line, then why can't they poll them that way?
                    Debt as of 1/1/05: $34,354.48
                    Debt as of July 4, 2007: $0.00 explanation
                    I'M DEBT FREE!!
                    I'm now a reasonably successful gunblogger.

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                    • #11
                      Guitar333:

                      At off-peak times, it is about 3000K down, but at peak times i think it's only about 1500-2000K.

                      I'm pretty lucky because my area recently was Cable Internet ready, so there aren't too many people on my node. I really don't notice too much of a slowdown. I have 8 computers on my network. ALL Linksys baby!!!

                      Peace,

                      The Rafster
                      Post # 3000

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by wizardPC
                        went to switch to cable from DSL today so we can save $50 by not having a landline phone. in passing, i asked what would happen to our digital cable boxes since they are plugged into the phone line. they said that the cable boxes would be turned off eventually because they wouldnt respond to a "poll" from the office.

                        my question is this, if they can turn off my cable boxes over the cable line, then why can't they poll them that way?
                        Which Digi cable box do you have and why do they use the phone line. My digi cable box (Scientific Atlanta Explorer 2200) doesn't need a phone line. Doesn't even have a port for it. Is your's also a PVR?

                        I will soon be upgrading to this!
                        http://www.cox.com/sandiego/dvr/default.asp

                        Peace,

                        The Rafster
                        Post # 3000

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          damn, you guys pay a lot. $34.95 for Sbc Yahoo! DSL here, in Los Angeles. Speed: promised: up to 1.5 dn/ 128 up
                          Tested on dslreports.com yesterday: 1.3 dn/218 (!!!) up

                          Cable is about $45, but they wanted me to pay $100 for setup since I don't have cable television (thats right, I don't have it Thank God!). So they lost a potential customer there...
                          Current Status: For Sale

                          Specs
                          - 1.5Ghz Toshiba Laptop (available - no screen)
                          - Indash Motorized 7" VGA TS
                          - DeLorme GPS (sold)
                          - Power Inverter (sold)
                          - Pioneer HU (sold)

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                          • #14
                            Cable: 24.99 for 600/128
                            DSL: 21.99 for 512/256

                            Extra upload is more than worth losing the extra 10k/sec download Plus my cable here is terrible, always going down, no way DSL can be any worse!!!


                            Garry
                            Co-Developer of A.I.M.E.E
                            www.aimee.cc

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                            • #15
                              IDIOTS AT WORK:
                              I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.


                              Happened to me once

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