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  • Problems installing Girlfriend 1.0...

    GirlFriend V 1.0:

    Discretion advised when upgrading

    Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

    Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.

    A "Don't remind me again" button
    Minimize button.
    An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.

    An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
    I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

    Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

    ***** BUG WARNING ********

    Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

    *** BUG WORK-AROUNDS ***************

    To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.

    Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.

    The only thing I would add to this is that if you search carefully, you can find one of the extremely rare Mistress 1.1a versions, which knows that Wife applications are running with priority, and which runs under cloaking, with no interest or attempts to upgrade itself to a Wife application.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    BoyFriend V 5.0:
    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs, such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

    I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

    Desperate


    Dear Desperate:

    Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command : C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program. DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.

    These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3. Also, running Nagging 5.3 too often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to secretly install Mistress 1.0, which would then require you to run Private Investigator 7.5 utility and possibly even Attorney 9.0, which could lead to a system wide failure and the need to reboot Husband 1.0!



    --Tech Support
    2005 Ford Focus ST

  • #2
    after reading this i feel it is my duty to commit seppuku (japanese ritual self disembowelment).

    Comment


    • #3
      oh thats great.... wait a minute who wrote that? i created the mistress 1.0 program years ago! and i had the first documented success applying the misstress 1.1a patch to the main program! where's my credit?

      Comment


      • #4
        i used to be friends with gospeed.racer until i found out he had illegally dowloaded a program called taiwanesechildprostitute v7.3

        Comment


        • #5
          Sorry...must have been another gospeed.racer!

          I pirated a copy of SomeoneElsesWife 1.1 and still got it. Works great!

          This article came from Stangnet....i figured it belonged here more than there. I know it had been around before that, not sure where it originated.
          2005 Ford Focus ST

          Comment


          • #6
            probably originated from some giant nerd that visits forums and posts to his internet friends.

            ::EDIT::

            like me

            Comment


            • #7
              Hahaha I love this... I am getting married in under 3 weeks, so this hit it right on the mark! I can't wait to show this to my girlfriend 1.0 soon to be wife1.0!!!

              Cheers!
              OrangeWhip? OrangeWhip? 3 OrangeWhips!!
              www.whipflash.com
              Finally a new Avatar!

              Comment


              • #8
                Congrats, Orangewhip!

                We had our pics taken at Minoru Chapel, in Richmond. It seems to be one of the more popular places. My brother-in-law had his wedding there too.
                Otherwise, I'd imagine you're probably closer to Queen Elizabeth Park and the conservatory.

                Anyway, whatever your plans, have fun, and don't let the stress ruin it.
                It'll be over soon enough.

                And, yes, I remember the GF 1.0 from several years ago, back in the dial-up days.


                Kris
                How Much Horsepower Can I have And Still Go To Heaven?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Can we get some screenshots of this software?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by orangewhip
                    Hahaha I love this... I am getting married in under 3 weeks, so this hit it right on the mark! I can't wait to show this to my girlfriend 1.0 soon to be wife1.0!!!

                    Cheers!


                    Hmmm, marrying the first (and only girl ) you've gone out with.


                    should have upgraded to at least girlfriend 3.0 before doing an install of wife 1.0.

                    although if installed the series of onenightstand 1.0 thru 5.0 patches you might be able to swing it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      one little personal addition that I'd like to make to this: when initially compiled and built, the source code for all versions of the wife and girlfriend applications must have gone through a very highly advanced code-obfuscation algorithm or something, as I have yet to find any existing disassembler/decompiler/hacker-type program that will allow any intelligible insight into the inner workings of either of these applications.



                      (ok, so i'm a geek, so...)

                      oh yeah, and don't even DREAM of either of these apps ever becoming open-source.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Superduck
                        Congrats, Orangewhip!

                        We had our pics taken at Minoru Chapel, in Richmond. It seems to be one of the more popular places. My brother-in-law had his wedding there too.
                        Otherwise, I'd imagine you're probably closer to Queen Elizabeth Park and the conservatory.

                        Anyway, whatever your plans, have fun, and don't let the stress ruin it.
                        It'll be over soon enough.

                        And, yes, I remember the GF 1.0 from several years ago, back in the dial-up days.


                        Kris
                        We are actually getting married in Vegas!! Our closest family and friends are all flying down there for the weekend...we will be there for a week. This will be our 14th trip to Vegas, so it was only fitting that we get married there too!!



                        Hmmm, marrying the first (and only girl ) you've gone out with.
                        Sorry, that was a mistake it is more along the lines of girlfriend 3.0 to wife 1.0. But even then that doesn't tell the whole story...we have been together for 11 years already and living together for almost 7....so the upgrade to wife 1.0 won't be too difficult. In the past 7 years I have been testing whether or not all my software was compatible with girlfriend 3.0 and everything seems to be working just fine! hahahaha
                        OrangeWhip? OrangeWhip? 3 OrangeWhips!!
                        www.whipflash.com
                        Finally a new Avatar!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I happen to be running a fairly stable release of Girlfriend V1.0c, but I seem to having the problem of the program trying to launch the child processes. Now, it hasn't happend yet, but I keep getting this annoying pop-ups.

                          Some benefits though, since I've been using this program for so long, it has almost become self reliant, and I've managed to uninstall all sub routines running in the background. This means that there is almost no drain on my system resources! Also, the programmer (a very nice woman to talk to), has provided some excellent customer support!
                          2000 Subaru OBS

                          Dell P3 @ 900 Mhz
                          7" Lilliput TS w/DigitalWW in-dash mount
                          80GB External HD

                          I am Zero Bitrate....

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            should have upgraded to at least girlfriend 3.0 before doing an install of wife 1.0.


                            WHAT?

                            Should be installing wife 0.01a...alpha or beta wife before retail wife 1.0

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by hud
                              oh yeah, and don't even DREAM of either of these apps ever becoming open-source.

                              LMFAO!!!
                              2005 Ford Focus ST

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