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  • Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

    LAZYBOY LYRICS

    "Underwear Goes Inside The Pants"

    Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
    It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
    Do you know what's not natural?
    80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
    But we got pills for that.
    We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
    but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

    You know we have more prescription drugs now.
    Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
    I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
    Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
    Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
    Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
    people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
    I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
    That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

    The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
    Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
    If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
    What's going to happen to our porno industry?
    These women don't just grown on trees.
    It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
    And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

    Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
    You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
    Terrorists masterminds.
    Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
    They're not masterminds.
    "OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
    "Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
    "Who's the ******* mastermind here? Me or you?"

    Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
    Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
    Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
    An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
    The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
    "How'd you get through it grandpa?"
    "Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

    Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
    I'll sit at a drive thru.
    I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
    Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
    You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother ******. There's room in the back. Take it!
    Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

    Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
    Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
    Of course not.
    You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your *** before you start to think,
    "You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."

    We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
    but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
    There are homeless people everywhere.
    This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
    I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
    And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
    Why am I judging this poor bastard.
    People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
    Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
    Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless.
    I walked behind this guy the other day.
    A homeless guy asked him for money.
    He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
    People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
    This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
    Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
    I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
    I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
    Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

    Wondering who else has heard this song.....and what you think about it

    =]
    Jan Bennett
    FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

    Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

  • #2
    Thanks for the good laugh

    This just shows the sad state that we are in
    -Jesus- King of Kings Lord of Lords

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    • #3
      very true....
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      • #4
        i've heard that, its a compilation of a bunch of differnt comedian's jokes, the guys a hack
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        • #5
          also, 35 years ago the mimum wage was $1.30
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          • #6
            has he ever said that he came up with all of that stuff on his own? if not then how would he be a hack...so I guess that all those bands that do covers are also hacks hu?

            and I bet he's comparing todays minimum wage to 35 years ago when taking into account inflation....
            Jan Bennett
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            Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

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            • #7
              Definetly a hack, just wanted to get those first two lines out.
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              • #8
                I want to wear my underware on the outside of my pants
                -Jesus- King of Kings Lord of Lords

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                • #9
                  hes a hack, its not even a song
                  its a ****in rant.....but he wasnt original enough to come up with his own issues to gripe about, he has to take denis leary and many other comedian's jokes and throw them into what he calls "lyrics". Its a **** poor attempt to be funny. I thought the song was funny at first until i started recognizing jokes from a bunch of great comedians (and by great comedians, i'm not including denis leary [he just *****es and moans like denis leary])
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                  • #10
                    I would say he is definately a hack, the last "verse" about the homeless guy was taken directly word for word from a stand up act I saw on comedy central. I believe the comedian was Greg Giraldo, but i am not sure.

                    I think it is artisticly sad, and rather insulting. Like lgbr was pointing out it was all about the first two lines, implying that all of the problems with america are caused by the fact that mary jane is not legal, and that if it was made legal it would all be better. which is complete BS. Just some guy pushing an agenda to make a quick buck.
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                    • #11
                      I still don't understand why you all are saying that he's a hack??

                      The same argument would mean that every band out there who has ever done a cover is a hack.....

                      that is unless of course he claims all of that stuff as original....which I still have yet to see anyone prove that he has (or hasn't for that matter)....

                      no one has answered that question yet, rather everyone has just jumped on the bandwaggen and said...."He's a hack"....

                      I agree that with him saying that MJ should be legal and it will solve all our problems is a bit absurd.....but.....I thought that HE didn't come up with all of this stuff.....under that same argument it's not him even saying this? afterall, he's a hack right? well according to some of you in this thread...

                      so what's the difference between him putting someone elses standup to music and a band like Korn redoing Another Brick In The Wall, parts 1, 2, &3????

                      Not flaming.....having a philosophical debate if you will....

                      =]
                      Jan Bennett
                      FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

                      Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

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                      • #12
                        He is a hack because there is nothing of artistic or intellectual value in this "song". It is a hodgepodge of sociological stereotypes. Comedy is meant to make people laugh at these things, and is not meant for deep philosophical thought, as it does not raise the right questions or pose any answers. Worse this song just serves to paliferate (sp) the stereotypical ideas and for one purpose, this artistís quick buck. The are hacks in the music industry as well, the act of covering another bands song does not in itself make a band a hack, its the way in which the material is presented. This artist in my opinion has failed miserably in this regard.

                        You asked for my opinion, and here it is. The man is a hack.
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                        • #13
                          that's cool, and I can understand where you are coming from, however I don't agree

                          this is ONE song that the man has come out with....I have yet to listen to all of his other songs so I can't say if they all follow this same pattern, if so, then yes, I can agree.

                          But, on the same account, bands who sing about things that they believe strongly in should fall into the same category, no?

                          Say, A Perfect Circle? Who put out a flash animation over the net to one of their songs. I believe it was Sheep something....something to do with sheep in the title.....it was just them pushing their beliefs about the current political situation.....a stereotype of the Bush administration.....now, befor you or anyone else turns this into a political debate, I want to try and avoid that....none of us can know fully what goes inside the whitehouse, or the government for that matter.....

                          Under your same points, any band who sings to promote their views would be a hack then, no?

                          and, btw, thanks for just having a conversation with me, it's rare to find someone who can converse about a subject that requires even a smigen of intelectual thought and not get all worked up that someone is taking a personal stab at them

                          hehehe

                          =]
                          Jan Bennett
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                          • #14
                            "Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums." I think is the song that you are referring to.

                            There are many differences between this song and the one above.

                            First for reference here is the first verse.
                            "Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window
                            Go back to sleep
                            Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils,
                            See, they don't give a ***** about you, like I do."

                            1. Use of assonance the words "choice" and "poison" share vowel sounds, as do "you" and "do" (perfect rhyme).

                            2. the music is written by the artist. I do not know much of music theory so i will not venture in to the details, but i personally have been listening to maynard's music since i was in 8th grade, and he is in my opinion quite musically talented.

                            3. Abstract thought. While this song is not acknowledged as one of his best, It still contains imagery and leads the listener to make there own conclusions on the message within the song, if in fact there even is one. Some people listen to this song and think that he is talking about Bush addressing Americans, implying that they need not worry he is their savior, others think that the song is about Maynard's son Devo. The song this thread is about leads a listener where? What images/thoughts does it invoke?

                            Also as you stated an artist can have a song that is bad and the rest of the artists work can be very good. Being that this is the first that I have heard of lazyboy, I am taking an guess in saying that the rest of his work is not likely to get better and he will most likely be a one song wonder. Perfect Circle, Tool and Maynard on the other hand have been around for quite while, and have proven track records with their fans.

                            I to am enjoying the conversation, it is amazing how you find in discussing something so much more about your own opinion and the reasons that you hold it, then you had ever just "known" before the discussion.
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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by alti
                              "Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums." I think is the song that you are referring to.
                              yes, that's the song I was referring to!

                              There are many differences between this song and the one above.

                              First for reference here is the first verse.
                              "Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window
                              Go back to sleep
                              Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils,
                              See, they don't give a ***** about you, like I do."

                              .........

                              2. the music is written by the artist. I do not know much of music theory so i will not venture in to the details, but i personally have been listening to maynard's music since i was in 8th grade, and he is in my opinion quite musically talented.
                              I am deffinately not arguing the point that he is talented, I enjoy his music and agree with you on this statement.

                              3. Abstract thought. While this song is not acknowledged as one of his best, It still contains imagery and leads the listener to make there own conclusions on the message within the song, if in fact there even is one. Some people listen to this song and think that he is talking about Bush addressing Americans, implying that they need not worry he is their savior, others think that the song is about Maynard's son Devo. The song this thread is about leads a listener where? What images/thoughts does it invoke?
                              While I agree that music should do just that, as should reading. It should take you to a place that you imagine when you listen to or read of it....this is part of the reason music and literature has been such an important part of human existance. However, when it's placed on their own web site and eMotive is an antire album dedicated to Bush bashing....I don't believe that they have left much to the imagination....

                              for instance:

                              http://www.aperfectcircle.com/bodies.html


                              Also as you stated an artist can have a song that is bad and the rest of the artists work can be very good. Being that this is the first that I have heard of lazyboy, I am taking an guess in saying that the rest of his work is not likely to get better and he will most likely be a one song wonder. Perfect Circle, Tool and Maynard on the other hand have been around for quite while, and have proven track records with their fans.
                              Agreed, to a point. Every one of the artests/bands that you mentioned above has a song or two that was horribly written. Yet the rest of their music is absolutely great. I think I may try and find a few more from Lazyboy and see what I think...

                              I to am enjoying the conversation, it is amazing how you find in discussing something so much more about your own opinion and the reasons that you hold it, then you had ever just "known" before the discussion.
                              agreed!
                              Jan Bennett
                              FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

                              Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

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