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  • easter and religion....

    so...being that I'm in college and live about an hour and a half away from my mother, she likes to make trips to come see me and spend some time with me.

    So she is planning on coming up for Easter and taking me and my boyfriend to the nicest restraunt here in town for an Easter Brunch. She then asks if we can go to church....

    here's the deal, she knows I'm not religious (she grew up a bible thumper, but has gotten a LOT better), she knows that I absolutely HATE it when people try and shove off their religious beliefs (or any beliefs for that matter) on me, and if they do, as with anything, i will just resist it more.

    i don't want to go to church, I don't feel like wasting away my sunday morning, listening to someone tell me how I'm going to go to hell, and how if I don't believe what they are preaching to me I will burn and I'm evil....and I must not have any morals.....

    anyone else have these problems....or is it just me?

    and no, I don't want any of you bible thumpers coming on here telling me i'm going to hell....
    Jan Bennett
    FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

    Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

  • #2
    take your personal radio and listen to the sport like homer simpson!

    Personally if it meant a lot to her i would go. I am not religious but i have my moments - deaths, ill friends/relatives etc. You mentioned before you are planning on getting married and if you plan to get married in a chuch then not going at easter because you don't believe in it makes you a bit of a hypocrite.

    If you really don't want to go tell her and explain why. Maybe she sould settle for you dropping her off and then picking her up afterwards and then doing something afterwards.

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    • #3
      You're going to hell!

      You didn't say us non-bible thumpers couldn't tell you that.

      If you don't feel like going to church, then don't, plain and simple. It's not like you're a child any more. Your mother should respect your beliefs (or lack thereof) as well.

      There are situations though where it's easier to just attend church (against your will) than not. My fiancee has a highly religious aunt who insists on taking her and her girls to church every Christmas. It's not so much about the religious aspects, but more a traditional thing they do as a family. So it's quality family bonding time, with the added bonus of being told they're going to hell.
      89 Supra Turbo

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Scouse Monkey
        take your personal radio and listen to the sport like homer simpson!
        I don't think that would go over too well....lol

        I am not religious but i have my moments - deaths, ill friends/relatives etc. You mentioned before you are planning on getting married and if you plan to get married in a chuch then not going at easter because you don't believe in it makes you a bit of a hypocrite.
        A) I will go to pay my respects, no qualms about that...that has nothign to do with religion

        B) never said I wanted to get married in a church....marriage is not solely a religious thing to me....it's more of an act of committment....not just religious

        If you really don't want to go tell her and explain why. Maybe she sould settle for you dropping her off and then picking her up afterwards and then doing something afterwards.
        thing is, I have told her this, and have told her this many times, she's like that person that won't take no and will continue to hound me about it till I give in (which I won't) or I die....=/
        Jan Bennett
        FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

        Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by drait
          If you don't feel like going to church, then don't, plain and simple. It's not like you're a child any more. Your mother should respect your beliefs (or lack thereof) as well.
          See, she's just not that way.....I'm still her child....even though I'm nearly 24, been gone for over 5 years, and am pretty much supporting myself....so...she still feels that she should be able to tell me when to go to bed and to clean up my room....that's part of the reason we don't get along at all....part of the reason I moved out in high school honnestly....

          There are situations though where it's easier to just attend church (against your will) than not. My fiancee has a highly religious aunt who insists on taking her and her girls to church every Christmas. It's not so much about the religious aspects, but more a traditional thing they do as a family. So it's quality family bonding time, with the added bonus of being told they're going to hell.
          See, I don't see sitting there, listening to someone else talk about how I'm going to go to hell, as being 'quality family time'...lol

          you aren't spending any time together, you are sitting next to each other and you can't talk to one another...lol
          Jan Bennett
          FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

          Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

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          • #7
            Originally posted by Red GTi VR6
            B) never said I wanted to get married in a church....marriage is not solely a religious thing to me....it's more of an act of committment....not just religious
            I know you didn't, thats why i said 'IF'.

            Your attitude is pretty much the same as mine and a high percentage of other people here but at the end of the day i have no doubt i will be getting married in a church and in a week i will be at my nephews christening.

            You say marriage is not "solely a religious thing" so it does have some religious meaning to you and again this is probably about as much meaning as it does to me. I agree, it is about commitment - damn right. But there is a little but of relgion there and i suspect you are not gonna burst into flames when you set foot in the church so for the sake of keeping the peace i would go. Treat it as an experiment or something - go to learn about people religion not to actively take part. I am curious about religions etc and the way people use it/live by it/let it rule them etc etc

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            • #8
              Originally posted by Scouse Monkey
              ..planning on getting married and if you plan to get married in a chuch then not going at easter because you don't believe in it makes you a bit of a hypocrite.
              Not all church weddings have to do with the beliefs of the parties getting married. More often than not, it has to do with the beliefs of the people paying for the wedding... the parents.

              So get married in Vegas, Red. A whole city full of sinners and hell-bound people
              89 Supra Turbo

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              • #9
                Originally posted by Red GTi VR6
                i don't want to go to church, I don't feel like wasting away my sunday morning, listening to someone tell me how I'm going to go to hell, and how if I don't believe what they are preaching to me I will burn and I'm evil....and I must not have any morals.....
                LOL, apparently you havent been to church latley if thats what you think it is all about. Atleast the churches i have been to. Most tip toe around the subject.

                If you don't want to go then don't, have enough courage to stand up for what you think is right.

                Your mom has probaly been praying for years that you would be "saved".

                God is able and prayer works. Pretty soon you will be going out and telling all of your friends too.
                -Jesus- King of Kings Lord of Lords

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                • #10
                  see, I do agree with learning about religion. I'm not one to say 'foch all religions'

                  I have trouble believing in one religion, or that GOD is all mighty (as the christians put it), when there are thousands of religions out there....I have my own views on it, I will and do listen to other people speak of their religion or religions in general, I am interested in knowing why people believe, and I find more and more that people belive blindly, which really upset me, honnestly...

                  when I say that religion is not solely a religious thing, I mean that no matter how you look at it, it's not based 100% on religion....I don't looka t marriage as religios at all, other people do....I don't see why a religion has to come into play when talking about marriage....it's spending time with someone you love, and committing to do that for the rest of your life....

                  the act of marriage is present in all differnet religions across the world....so to say that it's one religion or the other is just wrong to me....

                  for the same of keeping peace, why can't I expect her to understand my views and my desires? i've given into her pushy ways long enough and refuse to do it every again

                  yeah, she will throw a fit if we don't get married in a church, but oh well....that's her problem....I'm sure his parents will throw a fit if we don't get married in THEIR church...lol
                  Jan Bennett
                  FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

                  Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

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                  • #11
                    Originally posted by drait
                    Not all church weddings have to do with the beliefs of the parties getting married. More often than not, it has to do with the beliefs of the people paying for the wedding... the parents.
                    EXACTLY!
                    Jan Bennett
                    FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

                    Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

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                    • #12
                      Originally posted by drait
                      Not all church weddings have to do with the beliefs of the parties getting married. More often than not, it has to do with the beliefs of the people paying for the wedding... the parents.

                      So get married in Vegas, Red. A whole city full of sinners and hell-bound people
                      well yeah i was thinking about that but that is a little ****ed up and false as you are saying you are doing it for them but really you are ****ing on their beliefs and religions. But not as false as some girl wanting a chirch wedding just so she can wear the big white dress. (Red, not implying that is you in any way whatsoever - it is just an amusing thing that goes on and shows just how shallow some people are)

                      This is a bit like the g/f thread - at the end of the day you have to respect what other people are into. Red, that not only goes for you but goes for your mum only you are obviously the more open minded and understanding party and that kind of screws you up as you are not cmpletely blinkered into your beliefs.

                      It is the kind of situation that reasonable, intellignet and thoughful people always get themselves into - trying to please othee people and do whats best for them. Soemtimes you just have to do it though.

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                      • #13
                        Originally posted by antimatter
                        LOL, apparently you havent been to church latley if thats what you think it is all about. Atleast the churches i have been to. Most tip toe around the subject.
                        well, duh! of course I haven't been to church lately, but I've been to enough different churches to know that I don't like going....

                        baptist, pres., methodist, catholic, yada yada yada...

                        it's all the same....

                        they preach to you about how you should act, I feel that i don't need someone to tell me how to be a good person, I feel that my morals are fine, I don't need the 10 commandments to be preached to me to know that doing those things is wrong, to me it's just natural that doing those things is wrong....


                        If you don't want to go then don't, have enough courage to stand up for what you think is right.
                        I DO! I DO tell her htat I don't want to go, that's not the point of this thread! the point is that I'm asking if anyone else has these problems!

                        God is able and prayer works. Pretty soon you will be going out and telling all of your friends too.
                        **** off
                        Jan Bennett
                        FS: VW MKIV Bezel for 8" Lilliput - 95% Finished

                        Please post on the forums! Chances are, someone else has or will have the same questions as you!

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                        • #14
                          Just enjoy it... Me and the missus have to go to church for 6 months to get married in the church we want OK some of it's boring but most of the time we have a laugh with each other pulling faces and trying to make the other one crack up

                          Don't know what churches are like in the US but over here it's more about a community thing, and any preaching seems to be to encourage the conregration to support Fair trade food, poverty etc. I hadn't been for years and was very very nervous for the same kind of reasons but they all seemed very welcoming and it was better than I remembered as a youngster!
                          Ford Focus MP3 : www.stevieg.org/carpc Blog Updated 29 January 2009!
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                          • #15
                            Mom, have you ever been forced to do something and every time it just pushes you further away from it to the point where you just despise it? I think that's why people just SNAP and go up in a tall building and start shooting poeple... but hey, if you want to go, then OK let's go.

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