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  • darwin awards !

    They're back - Darwin A! wa! rds 2004 -- Yes, it's that magical
    time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed,
    honoring the least evolved among us.
    The 2004 Darwin Award Winners:

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
    victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be
    robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire
    wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
    This time it worked.

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
    meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around,
    submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
    suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look
    for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The
    chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for ! tw! o hours to clear a space for
    his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle
    to find that a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he
    shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
    bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed
    to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
    wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby
    bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
    then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
    the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to
    bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
    serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
    asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
    h! e ! was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to
    a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a UniMart, put a $20 bill on the counter,
    and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
    the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
    register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the
    cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
    counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
    drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you
    money, has a crime been committed?)

    7. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski
    mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the
    thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A **** UP!"
    For a moment, everyone was silent.

    Then the sniggers started. The security guard completely lost
    it and doub! le! d over laughing. It probably saved his life,
    because he'd been about to draw his gun, and he couldn't
    possibly have drawn and fired before the thief shot him. The
    thief ran away and is still at large.

    In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the
    wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this
    is a ****-up!"

    8. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
    decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor
    store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
    cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The
    cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
    head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
    made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    9. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a
    man grabbed ! he! r purse and ran. The clerk called 911
    immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed
    description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
    apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
    back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
    told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
    "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
    from."

    10. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
    into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed
    a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he
    said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
    When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
    available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

    11. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
    parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
    for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man
    curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
    spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
    gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
    sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to
    press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had!
    [ 5-spd 1996 M A X i M A SE ]

  • #2
    Got to love the Darwin awards!

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    • #3
      LMFAO!!!!!
      Still Planning and Scavenging Parts ------Software-----and anything else i can lay my hands on!!! :)

      Acquired a Toshiba Satelite 4000CDT
      HDD`s ****ed new one on way! 30gb Toshiba.

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      • #4
        When are the 2005 Darwin awards coming out? Seems to me that I read all those about a year ago.

        Edit---
        'Doh! I guess I was a little unclear on the concept. I read those before, but the votes were collected during 2004 and these are the winners.

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        • #5
          7 was the one that made me laugh the most 8 i have seen some where and 3 well thats just horribly funny.
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          • #6
            Originally posted by nadir_s
            3. A man who shoveled snow for ! tw! o hours to clear a space for
            his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle
            to find that a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he
            shot her.
            YEAH!
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