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Taco Bell : 1 Big Bell Value and 1 Whore please

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  • Taco Bell : 1 Big Bell Value and 1 Whore please

    Alright, get ready for a good story you can tell your children on dark cold nights when they say "Hey, can we go get some Taco Bell please?"....on we go:

    A friend who lives out of town came by on Sunday. Needless to say we ended up playing video games like it was 4:20 all day....

    So its now 930pm or something, it was kinda hazy so Im no exact. But that doesnt matter, because we feel like some tacos.

    So there is a "Mexican Taco Stand" nearby, nah too dirty....
    Might as well head to Taco Bell. (which becomes much, much, much dirtier, read on)

    Since it was kinda "foggy" in our heads, we parked and went inside, because I knew it would take a long time to read that menu and decide.

    Inside was....nothing. No one, no customers, no employees. Nothing. **** nada. Well yea there were employees behind the partition dividing the counter from the "kitchen", but no one up front. Fine, we need to look at the menu.

    2 minutes goes by, someone comes out "Are you ready?".

    No not yet we say. "Ok, ill be back" and she goes into the back abyss, never to be seen again.

    3 more minutes goes by, and we both are standing looking up at the menu, in our peripheral vision we see (and hear) a sorta rednecking perhaps intoxicated woman come in.

    "How long you all been standing there?"

    a few hours, I said.

    "hahahah, yeah checkers was all blah blah blah crowded so I came here and blah blah"

    I was not really listening.

    Until.

    "You know of anyone who wants to ****?"

    Still staring straight ahead, I say "WHAT?" not turning around...

    "You didnt hear it from me, but the beer, the room its all taken care of, I just got outta jail. I was in for 6 months and Im in need."

    Silence.

    "Cmon, my pussy's"....I cant forget what she said next cuz when she said it, she turned her voice into what I guess SHE thought was sexy (think drunk, nasty Jerry Springer type with a touch of vinegar)

    "Cmon, my pussy's tight and wet and I need it, do you know anyone?"

    And then she did something that I am horrified to even say....she touched me. My friend and I are both still "staring" at the menu and she reaches foward with her hand and touches me in the middle of my back while saying something I cant recall because I drew the line right there...

    I finally turned around and said something:

    DONT ******* TOUCH ME LADY!

    And she sure as hell wasnt expecting that because the look of surprise in her wide bloodshot eyes was "priceless". But now I had actually seen this woman, seen her face and I was sick so I turned right back around to ignore it.

    "WHAT!? Are you gay? yeah you arent even as hot as my son."

    so my friend takes this time to think of something snappy:

    SO GO **** YOUR SON THEN YOU DIRTY *****!

    "You some kind of terrorists? Yeah you look like youre illegal, Im gonna call blah blah"

    I was thinking so hard of something snappy to say so we could leave but her touching me had thrown me off so much I was drawing a blank.

    "Well yeah you like illegals Im gonna call the cops!"

    And it was that time I turned to my friend and said lets go, and my snappy comeback to the lady was this boring jewel:

    "Well I gotta get back to work at the Police Station, gotta get back on the dispatch and arrest some people"

    This is now another 3 minutes or so from when the woman entered, and NO employee ever came from the back. So we went to Arby's, and I got myself a ****en Beef n Cheddar.

    I will never ever ever go back to that taco bell, and perhaps ANY taco bell for a long time. It is so tainted I cant even stomach thinking about burritos made from grade F meat.

    What bothered me most was the ****ty comeback I had on the way out. I thought about it and I think now I would:

    Still stare straight ahead, pretend to dial my cellphone:

    "Hey, Lieutenant, its Jones. yeah im out on break at the Taco bell over on 6th and you wont believe this. I got 167ed. yeah I cant believe it either, she 134ed me first then 167ed my friend and now I bet we got her on 312s also. Yeah send a car, I bet we can keep her here by just talking to her. I dunno she looks like a whore, ugly, smelly, the usual. yeah we'll be here"

    By then I would have expected her to leave.

    What do you think!?
    (All done)
    iPad Mini 128GB, RF 600.5 amp, JL12W0V2, 8 Infinity Components

  • #2
    Hahahahahahahah Dude Thats ****in Hallarious Lol I Love The Damn Title :-)

    Comment


    • #3
      Wholy crap, what a buzzkill, I would have just told her that Im gay, then boot over to arby's, if she kept on going on, I would have told her to wait in the restroom, "I'll be in there in a second". then boot. knowing her, her "wetness" may have been all the nasty oozy smegma, the kind you find in a 10 day old cheeserito. (however you spell that) Smoke one for me on that one. ::: shudder:::
      MORE COWBELL.

      Comment


      • #4
        was she fit?
        CarPC status: iPod, 3,456,217 songs so **** you

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Motoko
          was she fit?

          Comment


          • #6
            Taco Bueno for the Win1
            Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo
            Kenwood X790 x/ iP500 Ipod Interface
            Elemental Designs 13Kv.2 D2
            CDT ES-620 (omg yayay!!!1)
            NINe.2X, NINe.2

            Comment


            • #7
              Funniest post in weeks.

              Comment


              • #8
                I came home to my girlfrend with this look on my face...I had been raped.

                The ***** TOUCHED ME! Ewwww I burned the shirt.
                (All done)
                iPad Mini 128GB, RF 600.5 amp, JL12W0V2, 8 Infinity Components

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by sdashiki
                  I came home to my girlfrend with this look on my face...I had been raped.

                  The ***** TOUCHED ME! Ewwww I burned the shirt.

                  You have a Girlfriend? Wow. That's some news man. Shocking!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by sdashiki
                    I came home to my girlfrend...
                    does she know about your emotional problems?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      LOL. Thanks for the votes of confidence in my heterosexuality.

                      But anyway...yeah she knows aboot my "problems" its why we are together, DUH!
                      (All done)
                      iPad Mini 128GB, RF 600.5 amp, JL12W0V2, 8 Infinity Components

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        met her at conceling?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          If you mean counseling, no.
                          (All done)
                          iPad Mini 128GB, RF 600.5 amp, JL12W0V2, 8 Infinity Components

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Escalade182
                            met her at conceling?
                            Perhaps she is the problem.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Nah, we got no problems. Other than all the problems.
                              (All done)
                              iPad Mini 128GB, RF 600.5 amp, JL12W0V2, 8 Infinity Components

                              Comment

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