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Should I change or Let her go?....So Confused

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  • Should I change or Let her go?....So Confused

    wha sup fellas,

    Well Ive been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years now and this is finally hitting our relationship. I knew it was going to come but wasnt expecting it this soon.... ....We are two different religions, and now its become a problem.....Im a born Catholic, shes a Jehovah's Witness. To be honest I havent been to church in a while, and kind of lost my way as a catholic but I do still believe in God. She was raised a jehovahs witness, but kind of fell off as well but lately for the past couple of months shes been getting more into it. Puting more effort than anyone in her family. Shes becomming more and more dedicated to it. I went with her 2 times and kinda just sat there and wondered if i was in the right place. I havent went back and Im just confused on what to do about religion and our relationship. Now that shes changing more and more she wants to marry a Jahovahs witness and wants me to convert but I just dont know. Deep inside I feel like its not right but is that because i was born a Catholic? I went to a catholic school for 10 years of my life....so its kind of carved in me, ya know. But I love this woman to death. and would do anything for her. I want to be with her forever, I want her to be my wife. Im so confused on what to do! Now I find myself asking myself was i raised in the right religion? Part of me is yes and the other that has parted away is just pondering on and on about all of this.....



    any advice helpful....

  • #2
    dude if its meant to be it will happen without anyone having to make major changes..if not than let her go...trust me i know its hard but u have to do it

    edit: unless thats her *** in ur avatar than **** it man convert
    i got dat ***** sittin on 22s! SUPERMAN EDITION!

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    • #3
      gah...so close to christianity yet too far for me to give you the same advice. I have a friend who had a similar problem, had a christian upbringing of sorts and nturally fell away because of the "sorts". During that time, had a bf who was JW. Didn't agree with alot of it, and for good reason. They split ways. I don't know if you believe Christ was your savior or not, and i'm not going o preach to you, but i will say this: if you got jacked up in a fight in horrible way for your boy, out of brotherly love, and they turned their back on you for a girl, how would you feel. I mean, today is easter...if all days you shouldn't forget what happened.

      And i that doesn't matter to you, then neither will the change cause that's like, the basis of everything.

      In the end, i can only give the best advice: Pray about it.
      (btw, that friend married a youth leader and she's helping him lead ministries at colleges)

      Originally posted by EsKALad
      edit: unless thats her *** in ur avatar than **** it man convert
      Hell, if that IS her...i could understand your drive to convert
      Carputer Progress: Here we go again...

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      • #4
        if she loved you back, "to death", like you do, she woudn't care if you were a jehovah's witness or not.
        [ 5-spd 1996 M A X i M A SE ]

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        • #5
          All of you have alot of good points, and yes am praying about it
          and i do believe he is my savior,...its just these feelings i have for her...i havent really spoke nor seen her for a little while and i feel empty without her. I feel lonely, just empty

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          • #6
            Originally posted by nadir_s
            if she loved you back, "to death", like you do, she woudn't care if you were a jehovah's witness or not.
            you see it was like that for a while, but now that shes more dedicated i mean way more, she goes to study with some lady in her church like 4 times a week and that lady comes over on the weekends, shes changing alot and not even her mom or sister is this into it....now she says she loves me still and wants us to be together but wants to marry a J.W., so she wants me to convert or....this is it.

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            • #7
              In my opinion, most of the time, the correct answer to any ultimatum is a "no". You already expressed discomfort being at her church. Also, you mention that you have strong beliefs in who is your savior. If you have to chose between that and the girl, which would make you feel the most "lonely, just empty" to be without?

              Also, if you change and marry the girl, and then have children, most likely they will be raised JW. Will you be comfortable with that as well?

              -psyrex
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              ...it never ends

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              • #8
                I have jehovah witnesses come to my house every sat. I was raised a christian. I believe in both. The core of all religions are believing in something far greater than one can comprehend and a religion is just a form of a belief that better helps describe that. Religions are dangerous in any form. I believe in a lot of what Jehova Witnesses say. Alot of their beliefs of holidays and symbols are very true and should be taken that way. So to you id say throw away your crosses and just remember what today is for. I keep my cross as a reminder and am thankful for the love he has that it seems no one else in the world has. That love in him and your god should be the thing that holds you together not a form of belief. Not all the little symbols that are thrown your way. If you can we can find a place right in the middle of all this, i think we will have it. Remember its not how much you donate or how much time you spend, its the love of our father and jesus death, that will bring us to our proper end. So If i were you id explorer her religion and let her know and shower her. That the core of your beliefes come from 1 heavenly father and the time to mend. The love of god is not found in a relgion but a belief among friends.

                We were givin laws to abide by and the choice to follow them. The lack of ignorance of what god truely is and the chance to make a difference in this world that we attend. If she is pressing you to only follow her book and not the belief of what one god is, then perhaps its her that needs to change not you my friend.

                Always remember this. No one ever changed because you ask them to.

                So I what im saying with all this is. If she truely believed then she would speak with you to be her friend not an enemy that satan sends. I mean damn she cant throw you away just because of this. Id date a slut if she was no longer a slut. Simple as that. Its faith in trust.

                blah blha bhaalkdf blah blha blha ramble ramble blah blah yada yada blah blah.
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                • #9
                  "only a sith deals in absolutes" ... yes, this is a nerd forum so i will speak in nerd!! haha basically, fck the ultimatums. You think it will end here?

                  I'm religious myself and I can understand what both of you are going thru ... you both really have to be on the same page in religion if it is an important part of your lives. I had gone thru that phase w/ my gf - in the end, she learned to deal with it becaues I wasn't going to change something so fundamental about my life for anyone. Either accept it or don't bother.

                  You can convert now but will probably not follow it or care much for it other than it was a requirement she put you thru in order to be with her.

                  psyrex makes a good point - you want your kids to go thru all that religious stuff when you don't believe in it? You want them knocking door to door, trying to spread the religion? You think it's goin to end with you???
                  [ 5-spd 1996 M A X i M A SE ]

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                  • #10
                    then i am sith.
                    Carputer Progress: Here we go again...

                    THE GF THEME
                    Genesis has speed
                    Genesis has class
                    Genesis sent money
                    before your a__;)

                    Join the fight against carputters. EMAIL ME!

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                    • #11
                      That's a tough one... I would say, if you're not REALLY in love eith the religion, don't convert...

                      These things usually have a way of backfiring... What if after you get married to her, you start to get more into Catholocism again... you'll start to resent her for kind of "making" you convert.

                      I know a lot of Jews who converted to Christianity and Christians that converted to Judaism for marrige. Most of the time... if they JUST convert for marrige, something ends up happening and they end up in divorce....

                      BTW, I'm Jewish and I don't know much about JW's... They come to my house every once in a while, but I never really paid attention to what they say.

                      What are some of the major differences between Christianity and JWs? Do they both believe in Jesus?

                      Peace,

                      Rafster

                      P.S. Happy Easter and Passover to all!
                      Post # 3000

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                      • #12
                        You want to make it all about religion. You can't, and you shouldn't.

                        The person needs to love you and accept you as you are. If that is not the case, then you CAN NOT be together. There is truly no love if one tries to change the other to be what they want. Love is when you love the person unconditionally, just as they are.

                        I can relate this to religion. True love of g-d is when you love him no matter what happens in your life, and of course, for the believers, g-d loves everyone, no matter what.

                        Michael
                        ...I love the French language...especially to curse with...Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperies de connards d'enculés de ta mère. You see, it's like wiping your *** with silk, I love it.

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                        • #13
                          Agree with what most others are saying.... if you both aren't on the same page as far as religion then you're just asking for trouble down the road. It's definitely not a blanket rule... but if she's in a different position/state of mind/etc.. than you then there are only 2 possibilities.... either both of you will grow closer together and closer in terms of beliefs.... OR you won't and the differences will lead to conflicts later on. And unfortunately it's usually the latter.

                          Think of it like other big choices in life.... how you'll raise your kids, how you will deal with money, dealing with conflict.... those are some of the biggest areas that trip up marriages and are some of the areas where the two people need to be in some sort of agreement on, or at least understand each other's views and decide to accept and deal with any differences.

                          Lot more stuff to say but that's more or less the important stuff....
                          Nick
                          '99 Ford Escort ZX2 CarPC <-- RIP Feb '07

                          2006 Chevy Equinox LS (Current Project)

                          **VIA EPIA PD 1ghz Mobo, OPUS 150, 7" LinITX LCD touchscreen, 512 Ram, 60Gig HD, DLink Bluetooth, Belkin 802.11g wireless,

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                          • #14
                            dang just have her fill out a contract.
                            I GIVE FREE HUGS!
                            Buy Sell or Trade
                            If my pm box is full, please feel free to call me any time. 440-328-3382
                            Thank you
                            Forex
                            Rate Mp3car @ FXroot.com

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                            • #15
                              I have to admit that I haven't read the whole thread...but the Jehovah's Witness are a cult!! If you love her, *****ing get her out of there!!!
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