edit: Looks like I got beat to the punch
1. Depends on your car. Check some Volvo forums to see if there are any security measures that have to be disabled before installing a remote start system on your car - you'll face similar hurdles.
2. I believe it'd the the three positions of your key (assuming there are three) - Accessory, On, and Start
3. and 4. Your best bet might be to tap into the tachometer input, and convert whatever form the signal is into a voltage that the FB can read. When starting, the engine probably cranks at 300-400rpm or thereabouts, so you could have the FB check for a tach input, and if none is found (the car's not running), flip the
relays controlling the ACC and ON key positions on and then hold the relay controlling the starter on until a voltage equivalent to 600rpm is seen. At that point, you could assume the car is running.
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