Played around with it for a couple more hours. It turns out one of the pins on the connector was bent, and was sliding into the "space" that another pin is supposed to take up. Striaghtened it out the best I could, plugged it back in, and it recognized the touch screen on the next boot up! However, after rebooting, it's no longer working... Windows says something about "USB device malfunctioned or is defective" or something.
Plus everything on my screen is now pink I think a ribbon cable is probably loose or something though, so no big deal.
I'll mess with it again after I get some sleep, then I'll update.