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Thread: Positive press

  1. #1
    FLAC muldrick's Avatar
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    Positive press

    > When in England at a large conference, Colin Powell was asked

    > by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just

    > an example of empire building' by George Bush.

    >

    > He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has

    > sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to

    > fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land

    > we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that

    > did not return."

    > It became very quiet in the room.

    > **************

    >

    > Then there was a conference in France where a number of

    > international engineers were taking part, including French and

    > American. During a break one of the French engineers came back

    >

    > into the room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush

    > has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help

    > the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?"

    >

    > A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers

    > have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred

    > people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency

    > electrical power to shore facilities; they have three

    > cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a

    > day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water

    > from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen

    > helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and

    > from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many

    > does France have?"

    > Once again, dead silence.

    > *****************

    >

    > A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that

    > included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian

    > and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself

    > standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel

    > from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in

    > English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral

    > suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many

    > languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why

    > is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences

    > rather than speaking French?'

    >

    > Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe its

    > because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it

    > so you wouldn't have to speak German'

    You could have heard a pin drop!
    AtmosUSA.biz, E-Cig Mods
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  2. #2
    FLAC muldrick's Avatar
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    From the county where there is a zero tolerance law but they still have bars (one sip of a drink lands you in jail), comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in COLUMBIA, MD after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

    The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
    patrons left the bar and drove off.

    Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when he was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

    The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

    Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sheriffs office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

    "I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
    AtmosUSA.biz, E-Cig Mods
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  3. #3
    Bowel movement jjh221's Avatar
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    lol you started off with a good one and cracked me up on the second
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  4. #4
    It ain't easy being a green moderator meddler's Avatar
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    yeah the second one is good.
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