Page 10 of 23 FirstFirst 1234567891011121314151617181920 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 224

Thread: Jokes thread

  1. #91
    Variable Bitrate roadhog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Hampshire UK
    Posts
    291
    yup! but then I got hitched... god where did those carefree days of happiness go?

  2. #92
    Confusion Master
    Auto Apps:loading...
    Enforcer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    If you go down to the woods today, You're sure of
    Posts
    14,618
    There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

    Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

    She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
    She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

    The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

  3. #93
    The Lavender Tie Just
    Made It Obvious
    Rafster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    3,084
    FIVE SMART-*** WINNING ANSWERS
    The 5 winning smart *** answers of all time:

    Smart *** Answer #5:
    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
    Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


    Smart *** Answer #4:
    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
    The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

    Smart *** Answer #3:
    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
    The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could"
    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

    Smart *** Answer #2:
    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
    The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

    AND THE #1 SMART *** ANSWER OF ALL TIME.........
    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
    "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
    A smart *** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.

    When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

  4. #94
    The Lavender Tie Just
    Made It Obvious
    Rafster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    3,084
    Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things.

    I phoned the police, but was told there was no one in the area to help. They said they would send someone as soon as possible.

    I hung up. A minute later, I rang again. "Hello," I said, "I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now, because I've shot them."

    Within minutes, there were 1/2 a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters, and an arme response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed.

    One of the officers said: "I thought you said you'd shot them."

    To which I replied: "I thought you said no one was available!"



    Peace,

    Rafster

  5. #95

  6. #96
    The Lavender Tie Just
    Made It Obvious
    Rafster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    3,084
    Quote Originally Posted by Enforcer
    Posting a joke you've just posted as a funny pic is bad form ol' boy.

  7. #97
    Raw Wave tj!2k4's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    3,294
    well at least he doesn't get to add a whore point to the postcount for it.. lol

  8. #98
    Variable Bitrate roadhog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Hampshire UK
    Posts
    291
    triple bad when the pic was a REPOST!
    Hang your head in shame, or worship @ the Tesco Altar!

  9. #99
    Confusion Master
    Auto Apps:loading...
    Enforcer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    If you go down to the woods today, You're sure of
    Posts
    14,618
    Quote Originally Posted by roadhog
    triple bad when the pic was a REPOST!
    Hang your head in shame, or worship @ the Tesco Altar!
    I did also pull him up on the repost as well


    Actually, maybe I should have said it was gay, rather than bad form

  10. #100
    Variable Bitrate roadhog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Hampshire UK
    Posts
    291
    Now there's a choice - The Tesco Value girl or being gay

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 27
    Last Post: 12-20-2005, 08:29 AM
  2. Hot Chicks Thread - NOT WORK SAFE
    By ODYSSEY in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-17-2005, 09:38 PM
  3. skins thread suggestion
    By liquid_smoke in forum FrodoPlayer
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-11-2004, 09:31 PM
  4. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-07-2004, 11:52 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •