Some jokes my friend sent me - nonPC
1.) How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
2.) Why are blacks getting stronger?
T.V.s are getting heavier.
3.) Why does L.A. have so many gays and N.Y. so many blacks?
L.A. got first pick.
4.) Why do black people have white hands?
Everyone has some good in them.
5.) What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers used to buy us.
6.) White folks aren't racist,
they have colored t.v.s
7.) Why don't black people like aspirin?
Because it's white and it works.
8.) What's the definition of mass confusion?
Father's Day in Harlem.
9.) Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?
To remind blacks they used to pick cotton before they were drug dealers.
10.) What's the difference between Bigfoot and a working black?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
11.) What does NAACP stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People.
12.) Why does Stevie Wonder always smile?
He doesn't know he's black.
13.) What do you call a black person having sex?
14.) What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make blacks run fast.
15.) What did God say when he made the first black person?
Oops! Burnt another one!
1.) What do you call a little Mexican?
A paragraph cuz he's not quite an essay.
2.) Why aren't there any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future either.
3.) Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
So Puerto Ricans can window shop.
4.) What do you call two Mexicans Playin basketball?
Juan on Juan.
5.) Why do Mexicans eat tamales on Christmas?
So they'll have something to unwrap.
6.) A Mexican and a black are riding in a car. Whose driving?
7.) How do you hide money from a Mexican?
Hide it under a bar of soap.
8.) Why is there no Mexican Olympic team?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are already in the US
9.) What is a Mexican without a lawnmower?
10.) What do you call a Mexican getting baptised?
1.) When is the only time you can spit on a Persian women's face?
When her moustache is on fire.
2.) Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan?
Because there's a target on every corner.
3.) What doy you call a piece of sand paper in Afghanistan?
4.) What dou you call a guy with his hand up a camel's ***?
An Afghan mechanic.
5.) Failed Afghan recruitment slogans?
a.) Free camouflage turbans! Sign up today!
b.) Martyrs have more fun.
c.) Uncle oSAMa wants you!
d.) Be Allah you can be.
6.) Why is the Afghan airforce so easy to train?
You only have to teach them how to take off.
1.) What's the diffeence between a Jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips.
2.) What's a Jew's biggest dilemma?
3.) Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 yrs?
They heard someone dropped a quarter.
4.) What is the techincal term for a Jewish Divorcee?
5.) How does a Jewish child tease their classmates?
They say "your momma pays retail."
6.) What's faster than a speeding bullet.?
A Jew with a coupon.
7.) How was copper wire invented?
Two Jews fighting over the same penny.
8.) What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into the wall?
He breaks his nose.
9.) Why are there no Italian Jews?
Because Italians know how to cook bread.
1.) How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
2.) How can you tell an asian robbed your house?
Your homewrk's done, computer upgraded, and 2 hrs later they're still trying
to back out of your driveway.
1.) Have you heard of Italian Althzeimers?
That's where you forget everything except the grudge.
2.) Why can't they do a nativity scene in Italy?
They can't find three wisemen and a virgin.
3.) Why do Italians have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
1.) Why don't women need watches?
Because there are clocks on the ovens.
2.) How many men does it take to open a beer?
0, the beer should be open when the woman brings it to him.
3.) What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.
For the ladies:
4.) Things a man might do when his girlfriend tells him a baby is on the way:
a.) Kick you in the stomache and catch you unawares
b.) Swear to god you accidently fell that flight of stairs
c.) When he tells you that he loves you he will look you in the eye, as he
slowly slides the hanger up your thigh.