Computers and Cars:
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At COMDEX recently, Bill Gats reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we'd all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000MPG." In response to Bill's comments, GM issued a press release stating the following; If GM developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash 2x/day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case, you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, 5X as fast and 2x as easy to drive, but would only run on 5% of the roads.
6. The Oil, water temp., and alternator lights would all be replaced by a single "Your Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The air-bag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn off the engine.