Thread: Britney Spears Ranty Rant Rant Rant

Time to rant, read and be overjoyed, or something:

Britney's boy!

Pop star gives birth, mag sez

BY MICHELLE CARUSO
DAILY NEWS WEST COAST BUREAU CHIEF

Britney Spears
LOS ANGELES - Pop princess Britney Spears popped out a baby boy yesterday, according to a magazine report.

POP!

The belly-baring 23-year-old singer delivered her first child by Caesarean section around 1 p.m. yesterday at UCLA Medical Center in Santa Monica, Calif., Us Weekly said.

"I'm gonna be a hot mom," Spears recently declared, hinting she'll still wear halter tops and Daisy Dukes when she's pushing the tot's carriage.

OMFG make me barf. Are you serious? A Hot Mom? I mean yes MILF is one thing, but she is gonna wear halters with that friggen huge C section scar healing and that flabby stretch skin? Eww.

The singer's backup dancer husband, Kevin Federline, 27, reportedly was by her side when the newborn - expected to be named Preston Michael Spears Federline - made his debut.

Spears' rep, Leslie Sloan, did not return repeated calls for comment.

A hospital spokesman insisted the songbird was not there yesterday. "Nobody by that name - Britney Spears or Britney Federline - was admitted here," Ted Braun said.

Spears was due to give birth this coming Monday, but she suffered early contractions last Friday and spent the next few days in discomfort, Us Weekly reported.

The pop diva, who was recently photographed puffing on a cigarette despite her delicate condition, reportedly had a tough pregnancy, plagued by bloating and fatigue.

Wow, she was smoking during the pregnancy. Is she really trying to be like a country bumpkin or wut?

"Pregnancy has not agreed with her. She has been sick a lot. She couldn't get out of bed all weekend," Us Weekly quoted a pal as saying.

Spears, who says she plans to have three kids, had predicted she would opt for a C-section, thinking it would be less painful than a natural delivery.

"I have a feeling I'm going to have an operation. I don't know why, but I hope so," she told Elle magazine.

"I don't want to go through the pain. My mom said giving birth was the most excruciating thing she's ever gone through in her entire life," Spears said. "If [a C-section] doesn't happen, I'll be like, 'Epidural, please!'"

Pregnancy is not natural - to quote Bill Hicks. If you dont like what it does to you, after you KNOW what it CAN do to you, DONT DO IT. So she wants kids, but not the "problems" that go with it. Well at least the rest of her "problems" can be solved with her riches.

It was unclear why the singer's rep wouldn't confirm the baby's birth, but the media-savvy Spears has been known to make deals with media outlets. Last year, People magazine got dibs on her exclusive wedding photographs.

Thats it, we need to make money, then my pregnancy wont hurt so much.

Spears, who was previously married for 55 hours to childhood pal Jason Alexander, wed Federline in a top-secret ceremony last September. He has two children from a previous relationship with "Moesha" star Shar Jackson.

Shes a whore.