Thread: What would you do if your girlfriend.....

Originally Posted by Chris31

Making a temporary change is the one that will annoy the other person, they can easily use that when a fight occurs. "I already told you about this **** why are you doing it again?" If she cant change then the guy have to accept her fault...in that case he have to change his attitude toward her faults. For a problem to be resolved, its only either gonna be the girl or the guy that need to change for it to be enough to be all good again. Who needs to change is based on the nature of the problems or how important it is to the girl or the guy...this just need to be talked about until everyone agrees.

For example I dont like smoking, but the girl Im with smokes. I can tell her to stop smoking, but it doesnt mean I can make her. If she loves me, she will stop. Dont think that Im taking control of her, my request is not just for me but its for the benefits of both of us. I asked her to stop because I love her, I dont go around telling everyone to stop smoking. Sure, I shouldnt have started the relationship at the first place knowing that she smokes. Knowing that shes one of the best girls around Im not just gonna walk away because of her fault, Ill stick around as much as I can until we decided that she cant be changed for good. To within reason any faults can be fixed if she knows whats good for both of us. True, I could just live with it the way she is, let her smoke, let her drinks, let her take drugs, get into prostitution and go down hill taking our childrens with her...thats a situation that I will never let it happen. She had the opportunity to change, she didnt, she firmly believe in "you cant change me" bull****. In that case she dont belong to a decent guy, she belong to a guy that dont give a **** about her.

I have change for my girl permanently, she always wanted me to keep her informed where I am or what I do whenever I go far. I can understand her concern and I dont see it as being possesive or anything like that. In reality I dont have to keep in touch with her but if thats what gonna make our relationship better then why not just give what she want from me. There be a time that I simply cant keep in touch with her, but Ill try to find a way and do whatever I can. Her knowing that I tried for her its good enough to keep her happy, but I cant keep failing or making an excuse that I forgot...then that be neglecting and being careless now. Yes I have change permanently for her and its not because shes being controlling, I realised her request is good for our relationship. She went on diet cause I told her shes gone a little bit fat over xmas, at 50kg she want to drop down to 45kg for me. I didnt force her, she knows I dont want her to be fat and so made that little effort to make the relationship better for us, isnt that sweet If she refuse then I just gonna have to accept it, 50kg is no big deal. The fact that she tried and show that shes willing to change for me is a sign of making the love stronger.

As for flirting on line and not taking care of the partner and expect them to accept it is bull****. Look at this situation...there be a time where I may need to do work overtime and may not have as much time for her no more. Im doing work overtime for a reason, maybe we really needed some extra money to get by. She got to understand that Im doing all this for both of us and got to put up with me not being with her all the time, it is life and we have to get through it sometimes. But neglecting her because I felt like flirting is completely unneccessary, its a sure way to drive her away. I got to change permanently and cant expect her to put up with my ****.

Yes some can change permanently, I have seen it so many times, and they feel much happier now. It make take a while but it surely can be done. Trust me, a change must be permanent for the relationship to work good. No one is perfect and its not easy to find someone that will accept every fault you throw at them. Unfortunately some have to get through a divorce before they even realised they need to change for the better.

Cliff Notes....???