Thread: Ex's and whatnot

Originally Posted by barqs

Okay, since I have been getting great ideas from here I need some help. Would anyone here who has an ex take them back after 2 years? My ex wife came back into town and wants to get back together. She says she gets it now and that she is so sorry. I loved her but my god, two years? WTF? Help me out, would anyone take back their ex wife? She is talking about e-mailing me a contract that we could sign so that it would be a better marriage too! Help. Thanks, barqs

I never look/looked back and hoped to get back together with my ex wife or ex gf. There is a reason that we and you, are not together anymore. Time will not heal it. Unfortunately, I believe that peoples core never change. Sometimes thier outside actions change, but never thier core being.

A contract sounds VERY wierd.

Michael

Originally Posted by jjh221

lol you know she gone fat and likes women now.

what's her number!

Originally Posted by Chris31

Depend how the marriage broke down at the first place, you said you argue alot? But how does a wonderful time leading to an arguement? hows do you guys deal with it and how does it ends?

Arguement can be a good thing as long as its about trying to understand each other and trying to make it all better. Some just like to argue and when proven wrong they wont accept it or try to change to avoid it the next time round...and that really suck.

Well 2 years is a long time, its possible she have changed. So just take another chance and see if she have really changed. Just keep your guards up, you never know whats her intention of comming back. As been said take her out, take your time and see how it goes from there.

It's all depend on how the marriage was broken at first.
You guys have kid? I guess you don't have to ask us for opinions if there is one.

How about, let stay together to see if the previous problem still exist before re-wedding .

Don't do it. PERIOD.

I don't know (or wanna know) what happened the first time. But many people don't seem to understand the vows they took when they first married, or certainly don't live up to it. Under only very view exceptions should a divorce take place, ie: cheating. Other then these view exceptions, divorce should not happen. Seems like people get married and expect everything to be wonderful, then after a couple of arguments (which are normal) "give up" they devorce.
It's not supposed to be this way.
Sorry, I don't know your situation, but marriage should be through good times AND bad times, devorce is not an option.

Should you get back together??? Only you can answer that.

so what happend?

Just be sure that you are thinking with the head that is on top of your shoulders rather than the one below the belt. Don't make any decisions too quickly and question your motives.

People can change but most won't because it takes effort to change your ways. Lots of people promise changes but then fall back to their old ways.

Although you haven't revealed a lot of details, the fact that you argued and fought a lot is telling. You can't have a successful relationship with that going on, let alone a marriage. Of course you'll have disagreements and stuff, but if it always degrades into fights then that's a killer.

I'd take it slow and easy and see how it goes. Don't get too caught up in the romance part. When that wears off a bit, THEN you can really judge her actions and tell if she is really trying to change or not.

Good luck,
Z

Originally Posted by Zogg

People can change but most won't because it takes effort to change your ways. Lots of people promise changes but then fall back to their old ways.

When they start loosing alot of the good things in life thats when they start changing. Some wont have it unless its their ways even when its unreasonable. Sure they can go their ways, but they gonna have to do it alone.


Saying that, I talked to some girls who are feeling depressed about their weight, look, selfesteem, no one likes them, no guys ask them out...

They talk about how down they are, and promise they gonna do something about it. Few months down the line, same old stories, so have you done anything about it? ermm well no, not yet. **** sake, if something is bothering you then go and do something about it and not just feel depressed.

Back to the original topics, if they want to make it really work these time around then they gonna have to put real hard effort on it. How come arranged marriage work? Thats because both of them are willing to make it and work on their differences...different mentality.