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Thread: Suicide

  1. #11
    The Lavender Tie Just
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    Quote Originally Posted by thebestpageintheuniverse.com
    What you need: a hooker, $0.75.

    How to do it: find a hooker and inquire about her "*** buffet." If she doesn't know what you're talking about, punch her. If she does know what you're talking about, she shouldn't charge you more than 75 cents to lick her ***. You may even get away with not having to pay her since technically it's not sex (unless you're gay, but I'm not sure if it counts if it's a woman). Fair warning: not paying a hooker is considered shoplifting. Once you've done the (mis)deed, you may want to have some alcohol nearby. Make sure it's something strong like turpentine, because you'll be tasting a mouth full of funk and hookers don't always **** properly depending on their clientele. The tingling feeling in your mouth means the disease is working. Just sit back and relax while your penis falls off and you break out in hives. Then just wait a few months and if the other diseases don't get to you first, the AIDS will. Talk about a cheap suicide! At 75 cents, you can't afford not to kill yourself!

  2. #12
    Constant Bitrate RPI Geek's Avatar
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    http://bash.org/?488793

    Seriously though, it's a pretty crappy way to deal with your problems. There are people who will be affected by your passing; the people who care about you: your friends and family, the people who have to clean up whatever mess you make in the process (see link), and whoever finds your body.

    I don't even like thinking about it...
    Old plans out the window because of an accident .
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  3. #13
    Banned rev2's Avatar
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    If you attempt suicide and fail, then that's just another thing you're bad at.


  4. #14
    Unregistered User ODYSSEY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rev2
    If you attempt suicide and fail, then that's just another thing you're bad at.

    Personal Experience?
    ODYSSEY

    Quote Originally Posted by Tidder View Post
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    All information expressed in this post is my opinion, and should not be regarded as a statement of fact.
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  5. #15
    The Lavender Tie Just
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    Quote Originally Posted by rev2
    If you attempt suicide and fail, then that's just another thing you're bad at.


    True dat....

    Peace,

    Rafster

    Women should never comit suicide... they should just get one of these...http://sandiego.craigslist.org/ele/133752107.html

  6. #16
    Banned rev2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ODYSSEY
    Personal Experience?
    Ever watch Seinfeld?

  7. #17

  8. #18
    Banned rev2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enforcer
    Why? did it want to make you commit suicide?
    No. I love that show

  9. #19
    Banned Motorcity's Avatar
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    A girl I knew from my old neighborhood "attempted" to off herself via the slit wrist method about 18 years ago. Looked more like scratches from a cat. She just wanted attantion.

    A guy I know tried the pill bottle trick about 15 years agao. Again, just wanting attention.

    My old neighbor from 20 or so years ago was down on his luck. Lost his job, wife left him, etc. etc.
    Drank a half gallon of vodka, grabbbed his 12ga. and splattered gray matter across the bedroom.

    IMO: suicide is not an option. Ever. God will never give us anything we cannot handle. Delt lemons? make lemonaide. Plain and simple.

    Assisted suicide is always a topic of debate in my area. We have Dr. Death (Jack Kavorkian) not too far (he lives in Royal Oak) and his antics made national headlines with his death-mobile. He assisted terminally ill cancer patients by setting up an injection machine so the patient could pull a lever and kill themself. Then, he would load the body into his van and drop it off at the Oakland County Morgue. He is currently in jail serving a sentence for assisting in the suicide of several people.
    I guess one could see this as ok, being that the cancer patient is in a lot of pain, and has no chance of any quality of life. But, like I said, God's will is God's will.

  10. #20
    Confusion Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by Motorcity
    A girl I knew from my old neighborhood "attempted" to off herself via the slit wrist method about 18 years ago. Looked more like scratches from a cat. She just wanted attantion.

    A guy I know tried the pill bottle trick about 15 years agao. Again, just wanting attention.

    My old neighbor from 20 or so years ago was down on his luck. Lost his job, wife left him, etc. etc.
    Drank a half gallon of vodka, grabbbed his 12ga. and splattered gray matter across the bedroom..


    Don't ever move to my neighbourhood.



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