Wow...tricky
Well the chances of all those components being bad is very small. Maybe fate has it in for you
That ram chip configuration that it needs could be the issue. You mentioned you tried a few but if it is finicky about chip arrangements, then who knows? Maybe it needs all the chips on one side of the RAM stick (I've seen this before).
Make sure all USB devices are unplugged. Make sure the all drives are unplugged. Just connect keyboard and screen and power.
Make sure the system is grounded nicely. You probably already have this covered but it can't hurt to check. Maybe even a special grounding rig for the PSU and MB.
On newegg someone mentioned that this MB cannot run CAS 4 RAM properly. Needs CAS latency of 5.
Others are saying theirs shipped with a dead BIOS battery...