You said you are willing to pay a fairly large sum, and then you are not happy with a few thousands, so I am not sure how serious you are. And do you want to load a map by yourself, or do you want to do a proper re-map yourself? Are you "become a dealer" sort of serious, or are you "just want to save money" sort of serious?
I suspect the latter. In which case
http://www.revotechnik.com is your friend.
If you are serious and can invest in £10k+, then get WinOLS for modifying maps and that VAG tool (sorry the name escapes me, but Google will tell you) for loading maps on plus other functions.