Grammar Lessons From The Grammar Police

Maheriano · 10-06-2009, 06:18 PM

I can't take the obvious lack of comprehension for a grade 8 reading level anymore, makes me want to stab myself in the eyes. Here's some tips on helping you reduce my frustration when reading your posts:

Apostrophes: Believe it or not, these have a purpose. They denote missing characters within a word or they signify possession. For example, you can take the words "can not" and mast them together to create "can't." As you can see, the "O" was removed and is therefore denoted by an apostrophe. Any time you remove letters from words when creating contractions, you replace those letters with an apostrophe.
Similarly, you can also use apostrophes to denote possession. For example, if Mike owns a car, it is Mike's car. Complications arise when the name ends in "S" but all you do there is simply add an apostrophe at the end without the extra "S." For example, "That's Dennis' car." Notice the lack of an extra "S", this is because his name already ends in "S." Lastly, the biggest complication arises when you pluralize a possessive and you have to do both. For example, "This is my parents' car." First you pluralize it by adding the "S", then add the apostrophe to show possession. Not that hard a concept.

Homonyms: Some words are spelled differently but sound the same, these are called homonyms. For example. there, their, they're. You should never misuse "they're" because it's a contraction of "they are" and if you expand it to try and use "they are" in your sentence, you'll quickly realize if it makes sense or not. For example, "I really like they're carputer ideas" would turn into, "I really like they are carputer ideas" and you can easily see it doesn't make sense. It's even easier with your and you're because you only have the 2 to deal with and you'd have to be an idiot to misuse them since one is a contraction.

Who would of thought? This one is atrocious, it doesn't even make sense as a sentence in English. The correct term is, "Who would have thought?" That actually makes sense, you're asking a question about who would have thought something. And if you wish, you can contract it to, "Who would've thought?"

Spelling: Have you ever wondered how people seem to be able to spell everything properly? It's not that we can remember 30,000 words, we simply read books sometimes. It's not that hard, pick up a book, read a page, start a new page. You'd be surprised how much your spelling and grammar will improve from simply reading things and getting used to seeing the words/sentence structure.

A lot: This is two words, not one! "Alot" is not a word, that would be like writing "abunch" or "afew." It doesn't make sense, the correct term is "a lot."

I have more, can't think of them now. This isn't meant to beat on anyone, just to help people out with a slight touch of sarcasm. Enjoy.

Enforcer · 10-06-2009, 06:27 PM

Don't try and teach my Grammar to suck eggs.

malcom2073 · 10-06-2009, 06:47 PM

Firefox spell check is a lifesaver for me. I'm not entirely bad at spelling but some words just through me through a loop. I'm kind of curious why you left out punctuation, or a lack thereof. (No pun intended) That takes a post which normally would have rated a 13 on the age scale, and push it down to at least a 8.

trinybwoy · 10-06-2009, 10:32 PM

great read.
i loved the "abunch" "afew" examples

Bugbyte · 10-06-2009, 11:13 PM

And it is MOOT point, by the way. Not MUTE point. A mute point is one that you can't hear. A moot point is one you can't see.

And people turn LOOSE of things, not turn lose of things. That makes no sense.

TruckinMP3 · 10-06-2009, 11:31 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by Bugbyte

And it is MOOT point, by the way. Not MUTE point. A mute point is one that you can't hear. A moot point is one you can't see.

And people turn LOOSE of things, not turn lose of things. That makes no sense.

My preference is a MOO point, inspired either from Diablo or the cow's view point does not count.

2k1Toaster · 10-07-2009, 12:01 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by TruckinMP3

My preference is a MOO point, inspired either from Diablo or the cow's view point does not count.

Everytime I think of "moot point" I think of Joey on the tv shows Friends.

Joey: All right, Rach. The big question is, "does he like you?" All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

nasa · 10-07-2009, 07:04 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by malcom2073

Firefox spell check is a lifesaver for me. I'm not entirely bad at spelling but some words just through me through a loop. I'm kind of curious why you left out punctuation, or a lack thereof. (No pun intended) That takes a post which normally would have rated a 13 on the age scale, and push it down to at least a 8.

Malcom,

In a thread talking about grammar, one should be careful about what one post.

Quote:

I'm not entirely bad at spelling but some words just through me through a loop.

This sentence has two grammatical errors. Your sentence could be rewritten into two seperate sentences by simply removing the but, thus I would conclude that it is of the form:

main clause/coordinating conjuction/main clause.

When using this form a comma is required. Additionally, a main clause requires both a subject and a verb. Through, by itself, isn't a verb. The proper word should be throw.

Bugbyte · 10-07-2009, 08:26 AM

Quote: Originally Posted by nasa

Malcom,

In a thread talking about grammar, one should be careful about what one post.

Indeed. Your topic sentence improperly uses the singular. It could be rewritten as:

"In a thread talking about grammar, one should be careful about what one posts."

A more succinct opening might be:

"Ironically, your post has grammatical errors."

Enforcer · 10-07-2009, 09:43 AM

This could go on forever.

Anyway, some wise words from the Master of Confusion.

Confusion Says: When correcting spelling, make sure you have cast your own spell correctly.

This, and more of the Confusion Masters wise words, can be found here

And a thread in OT with most of them

Bugbyte · 10-07-2009, 02:14 PM

Wise words. But sometimes "Confusion say" and sometimes "Confusion says". What is the difference?

Enforcer · 10-07-2009, 02:57 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by Bugbyte

Wise words. But sometimes "Confusion say" and sometimes "Confusion says". What is the difference?

I ran over my quota of 's's

Bugbyte · 10-07-2009, 03:00 PM

Well, I hope you didn't crush all of them.

Enforcer · 10-07-2009, 03:16 PM

Unfortunately I did, I have now placed an order for some more and when received I shall place them in their appropriate places.

2k1Toaster · 10-07-2009, 05:28 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by Enforcer

Unfortunately I did, I have now placed an order for some more and when received I shall place them in their appropriate places.

hope UPS isn't delivering them...

Waaaaay ovar they're be sum good fishes.!@#,'s

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