Joke

xboxerxbox · 10-29-2004, 12:17 PM

When the Software industry had badly gone down, three giants Sun, SCO(UNIX) and Microsoft started producing condoms and named them Java-condo, CondomiX , and MS-Condome respectively. A customer using Java-condo complained to Sun that the condom doesn't fit correctly. Sun replied: "Wait till we get the ISO standard". They boasted that it will fit to any size irrespective of underlying structure. Well, the customer switched to CondomiX and found that by the time he finshes reading the instructions, given along with CondomiX, his wife was sleeping and he himself forgetting why he is using CondomiX. Finally he swiched to MS-Condome. To his surprise it was so good...and comfortable!. He used it happily. Six months later he found that his wife was pregnant. He got angry and complained to Micrsoft. He got his reply from Microsoft:
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Anyone want to guess?
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COme on No one?
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A PATCH is coming soon

EBFoxbat · 10-29-2004, 12:19 PM

very good

xboxerxbox · 10-30-2004, 10:19 AM

thx

jcdillin · 10-30-2004, 05:36 PM

Cris · 10-30-2004, 05:46 PM

So it was a BETA version...
Was it the Proffesional Edition or the Home Edition?

Spaghetti · 10-30-2004, 06:14 PM

And halfway through boning his wife he'd have to stop, take off, then put it back on again!

jcdillin · 10-30-2004, 06:15 PM

sorry, your session has preformed illegal operation and will be shut down

IntellaWorks · 10-30-2004, 06:25 PM

Awesome man, I needed a good laugh.

xboxerxbox · 10-30-2004, 06:35 PM

Mr. Steve Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter, and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted. When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."

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A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

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Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

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A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.

The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."

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A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God answered, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a car and died immediately.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years, why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

jcdillin · 10-30-2004, 06:59 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by xboxerxbox

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God answered, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a car and died immediately.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years, why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

xboxerxbox · 10-31-2004, 01:20 AM

you may add your own jokes here as well if you wish

Ricky327 · 10-31-2004, 08:03 PM

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