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Funny Rant/Rave from a friend of mine on his blog....
Well, it all started 3 days ago when I had the turkey club at the Cheesecake Factory. Seemed alright, decent at best. Well, little did I know what would follow with eating such a sandwhich. The past 3 days from hell... It caused me to aquire some sort of stomach virus, in which i've been very gassy and having uncontrollable explosive diarrhea. I've been pretty good with keeping it under control, especially around other people, but unfortunently last night I had an accident, and shat myself in sleep. Nothing major, just a wet fart that caused a few streak marks to appear on my undergarment. But tonight, well tonight has been a pretty unusual night. I was at the mall with some chick, and I felt my stomach start acting up again, so I gave her some money to go get some ice cream, and I figured by the time she does that i'll be done with my trip to the bathroom. Little did I know what was instore. I go to my stall, and start my journey in releaving myself. I get pretty much half way done, when someone sits in the stall next to me and lets a corker of a fart out. Me, being immature I sit there laughing at it, and in turn I hear him say "you know it's not that funny..." Usually I would have made some cheeky comment back, but this caught me weird for some reason. It sounded as though he was in direct view of my ear. So i look to the right, and what do I see? The toilet paper holder was broken, and about a 1 foot gapping hole was there in which I could view a fat man doing his business. He looks at me, smiles and waves. I feel myself turn bright red, so I shrug, give a half smile and finish fast. Also my gas has been coming out much more powerful with such great force, that I believe it could blow a piece of paper away... I was sitting in my kitchen, and heard my stomach start to rumble. Next thing I know, I let a loud one off, so loud that it actually tripped my glass break for the house alarm and set it off, just for an example of what i'm dealing with here... Oh god, when will this damn stomach virus just go away!
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