Thank you to the MP3car forums for helping me to figure out the relays. I even figured out how to build a power off relay without having to post
When I went to pick up the parts after work I thought I got the right stuff, a 1000u cap, a 10k Ohm Resistor, and a SPDT 12v relay, and I did except I picked up a 10 Ohm resistor and not a 10K Ohm so in the first few pictures you will see the incorrect resistor installed and I later corrected it after finding that this didn't work :-P Luckily old power supplies are great resources when you need a resistor quick.
The Mini 9 booted on the screen.
Whoops this is the wrong resistor
This is the relay after I was done wiring it.
Here I was double checking the open/closed state of the relay during power off.
This is the correct resistor
This is a video of the relay being used to turn on the Mini 9.
At this point I am not done with the relay as I plan to get it on a bread board and cleaned up a bit but this was my proof of concept for the power on relay. Power off will be next, hopefully tomorrow night.